Objects in the rearview mirror....

Chapter 1: a wobbly start

2007-07-11T15:54:00.000+01:00

I'd like to say that the last month or so has been a rollercoaster of craziness and fun, but it hasn't really. I've struggled to scrape enough money together to move into a new flat, I've struggled to get a job and I've struggled to cope with being a real-live-certified grown up. Finally though, I've achieved all three. I am now happily ensconced in my lovely new apartment (on the 7th floor and smack bang in the city centre no less!) and I've found my dream job (events management in case you were wondering) and it finally feels like things are really coming together. So many of my friends agree that the transition from final year student to 9-5 working adult is a weird one.

It's a very bumpy ride and one that has made me feel a little lost at times. You wonder what you really want to do with your life and if you're making, or indeed, have already made the right decisions. When I was in my old flat I was so excited at the prospect of staying in Manchester and getting a job and living it up really. So when I moved into my new flat and the enormity of what I was doing really hit me, it took a while to adjust to. Suddenly, there was no student loan to look forward to and I had to start paying council tax (£92 a month between two of us thank you very much!!) and I couldn't survive on a part time job and I actually had to, (get this...) GET OUT OF BED AT A DECENT HOUR!?!?! I mean, c'mon, what is that all about?

People often say that youth is wasted on the young, or you don't know what you've got til it's gone but I appreciated being young, and pretty much free of responsibility and I knew what I had and how much I was going to miss it, but still, it hit me hard when I realised it had gone forever.
What has hit me hardest though is not seeing my friends as much as I'd like. I no longer see Hollie every day which makes me feel like I've lost a bit of myself, Lee seems to be working all the time, Mark and Kim have moved back home and I seem far too busy to see friends from my old workplace. But things are settling down slightly. Our graduation ceremony is on the 17th July though and I can't wait - we'll all get to hang out together again!

The best thing about change? As you experience new challenges, you grow as a person and as the saying goes, a change is as good as a rest.
And the worst thing about change? I liked things the way they were :)

My good fortune

2007-06-18T21:29:00.000+01:00

Today has been quite a balanced day in terms of karma I think.
Firstly, the tram took about ten minutes to arrive and they usually come past once every 3 minutes. 1-0 to Karma. When one finally arrives, it is packed full with suits. I cram myself in next to a particularly good looking suit, and a really stinky man. Touche. 2-1 to Karma.
Then the stupid bastard tram breaks down at G-Mex. I could have walked there for crying out loud. 3-1 to Karma. As I finally make it to St. Peters Square a tram comes rolling past me. Karma is winning at this point with 4 to my measly 1. I know this is Karma because I don't pay for the tram, ever. So it's getting it's own back on me.

I get to work and it's really quiet so I get to sit in the back and do some computer work which I'm more than happy to do as it means I can rest my knee as it hurts. Whilst I'm in the back I'm allowed to answer my phone. So when it rings, I pick it up and get invited to an interview for a marketing job. 4-2 Karma. In your face!! At about 4pm my knee is hurting a lot and making walking/sitting/standing uncomfortable so my manager lets me go early to go to NHS drop in. 4-3!! Then, I'm told I've got inflammation of the knee joint. Gutted. Karma smacks one into the back of the net. 5-3. I have to take ibruprofen for 2 weeks. Oh well, I can live with that. Karma stumbles before it scores again.

Whilst buying my ibruprofen, I get a call from another company, offering me an interview. Whilst on the phone though, Karma cuts me off, but the company calls back and all is sorted. So, 5-4 it is. But only just.

After this, I go to H&M and pick up 3 items. Two priced at £8 and one at £5. I go to pay and the cashier forgets to charge me for one of the £8 items so the total comes to £13 instead of £21. Bargain. 5-5. She shoots, she scores!

So although me and Karma have been battling it out today, we've finished on an even score and had fun doing it. Life wouldn't be interesting without the ups and downs now would it?

Transformers: robots in disguise

2007-06-04T23:19:00.000+01:00

I haven't had the internet in my flat for a whole week. How bad is that? Very bad. It's quite upsetting in fact. The internet is a huge part of my life, I use it for banking, job-hunting, shopping, blogging and the other usual crap. So to be without it for a week was a little bit of a shock to my system but it did make me look at my life in a different light.

My parents first got the internet (dial up!!!) when I was 12. Now, when I was 12, I wasn't really that into computers and the delights of blogging, youtube and facebook had yet to be created. I tried a few chatrooms but found them to be full of perverts. So I went outside to play with my real friends. And I certainly never said "lol" outside of a chatroom. Rewind to when I was 10. My mum let me borrow her mobile phone. I sent text messages to my best friend at the time who lived next door. That's it. Now I can't live without it and not having the internet was really tough. I can't believe how depressing that is. Now, I sometimes (but rarely) say "lol" in my text messages and I discuss facebook/blogging/myspace etc like they are people in my life. Despite realising that my life has perhaps too much technology in it, I still couldn't wait to get on the internet when it eventually began working. I checked my e-mail (nothing interesting), my bank (I'm still poor) and facebook (Yes I am drunk on nearly all of the pictures). But then I realised I didn't have a lot else to do on there so I went back to reading my book. It's not that I need the internet. It's just that, well, I like it being there.

So anyway, it was our graduation ball last Thursday (31st May) and it was incredible. Everyone looked beautiful and the wine was flowing (maybe that's why I thought everyone looked so good). To be honest, I don't remember much of the night but I'm pretty sure I had a lot of fun.

I also went to see the new Pirates of the Caribbean film. Disappointing quite frankly. A little long winded and there were far too many different story lines. I do always enjoy going to the cinema though, I just wish it had been a better film instead. Speaking of which, Die Hard 4 is out soon. And I am in love with Bruce Willis. I'm not really into celeb spotting and catching up on the latest celebrity gossip but if I saw Bruce Willis I would quite possibly drop dead. Either that or jump his bones. Yes, I know, he's old. But he has sex appeal like no other man.
After Die Hard, Transformers will be coming out. And I truly cannot wait for that. In fact, I'm a little bit giddy.

Bank holiday weekend

2007-05-29T00:58:00.000+01:00

This weekend has been jam packed. Literally. A lot of the time has been taken up by sleeping, admittedly, but still...

On Thursday night, I introduced Louise to my Manchester life by putting a dvd on... that's right, I am that interesting. It was The Usual Suspects though, so all is forgiven, right? I invited Mark round and we had a night of interesting chit chat, sour cream and chive dipping and trying to guess who was the real culprit at the end of the film. I was right. I won't spoil it for any that haven't seen it though......

Friday, we spent the day preparing ourselves for the Warehouse Project. This involved choosing outfits, painting nails and drinking wine. Then finally, after a couple of months of waiting, we were there. And it blew our minds. We danced solidly for several hours then, stumbling out at close to 4am, I promptly decided that we should have chips. We didn't. We had salt and vinegar hula hoops instead. But they helped all the same.

Saturday came around and at midday ish we stumbled out of bed and had a pretty fantastic sausage, tomato, cheese and mushroom omelette. Then we did pretty much nothing. We watched some scrubs, went to the shop to get sweets and caught up on some much needed sleep. Before too long we were back at Store Street and the beat was pounding in my chest and my throat and I've got to admit, I felt better than I had in a long time. I felt totally euphoric. I was rammed up against the girl in front of me and shoved back against the guy behind me and although it was hot and sweaty and the air was thick with smoke it was the most incredible few hours. I danced for much of it with a guy who had taken a liking to my mad arm waving/finger pointing and Louise and Mark danced together right next to me. I caught Lou's eye several times in the night and our identical grins said it all.
As we crawled into bed at 5am on Sunday morning, Lou leaned across and kissed my cheek and thanked me for the best birthday present ever. It was. And it wasn't even my birthday.

On Sunday night, we headed to the Orange Grove for a chilled out night. We talked about nothing but music and the festivals and events we wanted to go to within the next 2/3 years. Disappointed that we were missing Sunday night and Pendulum at the Warehouse Project, we decided that we were going to give Global Gathering and/or Creamfields a try. Although not the greatest camper in the world, GG07 are offering an amazing line up and nothing short of a natural disaster hitting Stratford-Upon-Avon is going to stop me.

Finally, here we are on Monday night (actually Tuesday morning) and we've recently arrived back from Mark's flat where we played Buzz Quiz on PS2 (I lost) and Tennis and Bowling on the Wii (I won). It has been a weekend of discovery (new friendships for some, renewned friendships for others, new music, new lifestyles, new cultures, new cities etc etc etc) and I've honestly enjoyed every single second of it. Louise is moving to Manchester permanently in a couple of weeks and I'm looking forward to what lay ahead for us.

Defining moments

2007-05-24T20:49:00.000+01:00

So, after much deliberating in one particular car journey (I don't remember which one, but I know I was with Hollie) I decided that one of two songs defined my time at university. Both, incidentally are by the same band:

The Killers - Somebody Told Me or Mr Brightside. They both remind me of the Zoo, on a Thursday night, but whenever I hear them they remind me of my best student days.
However, I have something a little more embarrassing to admit to. When I was in 6th form, we used to frequent a club called Liquid (Thursday nights again, as it happens) and several songs remind me of that time.

1) Love Like This Before - Faith Evans ft Fatman Scoop. As chav as the song is, I do still love it.
2) Ignition Remix - R Kelly.
3) Pretty Green Eyes - Ultrabeat.

It's not even like I was a chav in those days. I was just young and having fun and those songs remind me of those times. After Liquid we'd head on over to the chippy for chips, chicken and cheese. Yum. Those were the days.

While we're on the subject, when we moved up in the world to the upper 6th, we had the pleasure of painting the common room the colours of our choice (lilac, turquoise, blue and pink in case you were wondering) and in a crazy moment 4 of us decided to dance to one of the songs on the Gone in 60 Seconds soundtrack. As we shook our asses through the windows we realised there was a class downstairs. Oh, how we laughed.

I've been doing a lot of looking back lately, as you may have guessed but now is a time for looking forward as well. Louby Lou is here at the moment, and she will be staying over the bank holiday weekend. We're going to the Warehouse Project which hopefully, will provide me with more memories, and more defining songs and moments to look back on in a few years and smile about.

The end of an era

2007-05-13T13:01:00.000+01:00

Wow.... so the last 4 years have culminated in this moment... this not-quite-real feeling of euphoria but also incredible sadness! The last 22 years hinged on this moment and I think the next 60+ years will too.
Back when I was 16 and my brother was going off to uni I didn't think I wanted to go. My aspirations ran to working in a shop. Big wow. I had ideas that I wanted to be a writer but I was lazy and thought that uni just meant more work and being told what to do. Then when we dropped my brother off at his halls, my eyes were opened and I realised that I wanted that life. I think me and my brother have taken very different things from our years at uni. Our courses were at opposite ends of the spectrum and our universities light years apart. We're chalk and cheese, my brother and me and I think by the end of his 3 years he was ready to get to work but me? I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.
These last four years have brought me some of the happiest moments of my life, but also some of the saddest. When I left 6th form, I was looking forward to the future but was sad to leave my friends. This time, I realise that I won't be leaving my friends because I'm friends with some of the most incredible people in the world and these friendships are for life.
There have definitely been a lot of ups and downs (mostly ups!) in my university years but I wouldn't change it for the world, if anything, I'd throw myself into it even more. I've had 4 very different birthdays whilst I've been here. Only 1 really stands out: when my ex-boyfriend got arrested and I vowed to never go out again on my birthday! In between those years though, I've shared some wonderful experiences with amazing people.

I know this is all very soppy but it's also very heartfelt! I came to uni a very naive young person, but also open minded and curious. I couldn't wait to see what the world had to offer me. I got a little lost on my journey on several occasions but I finally found my way and now I think I've come out the other side a better person. My best friend in the whole world, Hollie, is a fantastic human being. She's incredibly generous and wouldn't hurt a fly. Me and Hollie, although different in many ways, are soulmates and without her, this last year in particular would have been very difficult to cope with. But whenever I needed her, she was there.

Mark, Lee, Kim and Jen are also amazing people, and great friends. I'm looking forward to seeing a lot more of them now that we're free of exams and assignments!!

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that without these people, I wouldn't be the same person and the last 4 years would have been very different. Of course, there are other people who have helped to shape me but this last year has been a defining one on my life and one I will never, ever, forget. Here's to the last 4 years, ones I will miss very much, and here's to the next 4, where many things will change but my heart will still hold the memories.

:)

La La Liverpool!

2007-04-25T16:14:00.000+01:00

In the words of My Chemical Romance: I'm not okay.

Not only do I have a ton of revision to do over the next week, I also had to go to the dentist today. Now, as much as I love my dentist (he is a nice man) the fact that he insists on sticking bloody great needles in my mouth does nothing to endear him to me. So now my lip is numb, and I'm having trouble drinking/eating/talking. Great. Fan bloody tastic.
But that's not all readers, no no... that would be far too easy.

I'm coming out of the dentist, and who should I see in the waiting room but my ex-boyfriends dad. Jesus H Christ. I just stopped and looked at him for a full breath. I then composed myself and said hello before managing to squeak out "I missed you". Because I have. He was perfectly polite and smiled at me and said hello but obviously his loyalties lie with his son. And his son won't exactly be my biggest fan. So yeah. I left the dentist in a hurry and promptly burst into tears. Good one, Rach.

I'd like to think I've been very composed and 'with it' since my break up, especially since I'm the one that did the breaking up, but under this ice queen exterior, it's a different story. Not that I'm a quivering wreck, that would be pathetic. I'm just a melting pot of emotions and apparently it takes the smallest thing to set me off. But then, it is the first time I've seen any of his family in the flesh since we broke up 2 months ago. It just confirmed for me that I'm obviously not over the whole thing yet.

I feel much better now it's all off my chest. Marvellous.

Despite my gammy numbed up mouth and the stupid amount of revision to do, I am actually looking forward to tonight. It's Chelsea v Liverpool and should be a stormer of a match. There has been all the usual pre-match hype with Mourinho bitching at Benitez and Benitez bitching back. I'll be backing the scousers obviously. They are a) a Northern team and b) not a bunch of fucking fairies. Mourinho usually comes up with an excuse as to why Chelsea won't win and this time has been no exception. Apparently, Liverpool SHOULD be the favourites because they aren't involved in as many competitions as Chelsea so they're fitter and more refreshed. Good one. So it couldn't be a disadvantage because they haven't had as much match practice then? Noooooo, of course not.

Anyway, back to the books.

A little philosophical nonsense....

2007-04-22T21:25:00.000+01:00

I was having a chat with my mum today about the dysfunctionality (if there is such a word) of my family and she told me that we were normal in comparison to some families. I scoffed. But then I had a think about it... and she might well be right. I mean, don't get me wrong. To an outsider my family is probably as strange as they come, I've got very odd aunties and uncles, weird cousins and just plain nuts grandparents. My mum calls me slutbeast, my brother wants to kill me most of the time and my dad says "bollocks" every time he burps. But then, don't all families have their little quirks?

"Do you want some lunch?" my mum asks
"Ten-four mama bear" I reply. All things considered, I'd say I'm pretty well adjusted.
I haven't always thought this though. When I was younger, I thought I'd never be secure or confident. My childhood was happy, to an extent, but for years I flinched every time my parents raised their voices for fear of another argument. And I sometimes still do. I strain to hear over the TV, but it's never anything to worry myself over.
Still happily married, I sometimes look at my parents and marvel at their commitment and strength.

It's funny though, even though I've seen how hard my parents have had to work, and been there first hand in past relationships, I still have a very idealistic view of love and relationships. I think love should conquer all and I think that there should always be a fiery passion, til the very last day. I know that the likelihood of this is actually slim to none but still, a girl can hope, right?!

I guess this is a little deep for this time of night. But after a day of hard revision, my mind began to wander, and this is where it brought me. I think one day I might try some therapy, and get all my issues out, but for now, my humble little blog will do just fine.

Apart from revising, today has been fairly uneventful. I went to see my grandparents for a couple of hours as I don't get to see them much these days and I loved the double take they both did when they saw my hair. It's once again "cyber purple" (according to the packet) and this time it's permanent!
"What have you done to your hair?" my grandad said in surprise
"I dyed it purple!" I grinned the same grin that I deployed as a young child when I wanted a sip of his bitter, or when I wanted him to tell me a story. It's a winner everytime. It's lethal when used correctly.
He muttered a cynical "hmmm" and looked at my mums hair to make sure she hadn't done the same thing. My grandma, purely because she likes to contradict him said "I think it really suits you!" Bless them.

Ten-four sreggolb

2007-04-19T21:25:00.000+01:00

Nothing of note happened today... however, here is a brief overview of the goings on:

I got up at 9.07am (this is far too early in my opinion)
I went to uni to revise
I sorted out my revision playlist on my ipod. (See previous blog)
I revised
I collected some results
I went to Warrington
I came home
I wrote a blog

See? Nothing. Zilch. Zip. Nada. But today has been a good one. Not a great one, but by no means a bad one.

Tomorrow I go to work, (which will mean getting up even earlier!) and then tomorrow night I'm going back to Notts to see my parents. A nice weekend at home to recharge the batteries and to catch up on revision. I can't wait actually.

This has to be the most boring blog ever, right? World record kind of stuff I think.

Anyway, it's now 21.37. Exactly 12 hours and 30 minutes since I got up, and I'm ready to rejoin the world of slumber.

That's all folks (can I say that? Is it copyright?)

Busy busy bee

2007-04-18T20:19:00.000+01:00

There's some really great music around at the minute isn't there?
Here's a short(ish) list of music I am currently loving.

Razorlight - can't stop this feeling I've got
Black Box Recorder - Andrew Ridgley (oldie but goodie!!)
Colin Harris - Acceptable in the 80's
Fall Out Boy - Thanks for the memories
Anything by The Fray
Hellogoodbye - Here (in your arms)
Kaiser Chiefs - Ruby
New Young Pony Club - Get dancey
Shiny Toy Guns - Starts with one
Also anything by Colin Hay.

A pretty random mix of songs you'll agree? I pride myself on my broad ranging tastes in music. I can't imagine just listening to one type of music all the time, I think I'd get bored pretty quickly. For instance, when sweating it out on the treadmill I like some upbeat dance music, and when I'm feeling on top of the world, I like a song with some real emotion in it. My ipod has a song to suit every mood methinks. I would suggest, if you haven't already, that you download each and every one of those songs and really have a good time listening.

In other news, I went to an assessment centre for a graduate job today. Talk about hard work. Mentally and emotionally tiring. I came home, stripped off and climbed into bed, then got out again, put some clothes on because it was ruddy freezing and got back into bed. I did enjoy the day though and it gave me some much needed experience. I learnt a few things about myself too. I sometimes wonder if I have it in me to become one of the masses of 'young professionals' that roam the Manchester pavements at 8.55am and 5.05pm daily and I realised today that yes, I do. I can be professional, intelligent and serious when it is needed.
The most important lesson I learned today though is one that makes me very happy. I learnt that I am honest. I spent much of my childhood lying through my teeth, not to make myself look better but because I had a vivid imagination (and still do, I hope) and I wanted my imagination to be real life. I'd still like to have a job with a gun, and I'd love to try being a waitress in a roller-cafe but that's another story.

Sometimes I can be brutally honest, other times I'm honest to an extent and sometimes I tell small white lies so as not to upset people, but in the end, honesty prevails. Lies come back to haunt you and half truths are found out in the end. Today just made me realise that my honesty, although it sometimes gets me into trouble, is what makes me stand out from the crowd. And I like that. I like something about myself, and that's always a good place to begin isn't it?

Hide and Seek

2007-04-17T14:14:00.000+01:00

Bright lights and heavy bass
Glow sticks and girls off their face
Short skirts and tube tops
High heels and smoking lots
And then there's you

In a pool of UV light, you look to your left and you look to your right.

You push your fingers through your hair
You look so classy
You have so much flair

And then you catch my eye
And I see you and I smile
The room stands still as you smile back
And as the beat resumes, you're gone

And in a pool of UV light, I look to my left and I look to my right
And you're gone.

Better than sex?!

2007-04-16T21:41:00.000+01:00

So today my student loan arrived in my bank account. I refrained from going shopping but I did venture out to my favourite restaurant, with my favourite filipino. We went to Room on King Street. She had been to the Liverpool Room, and hadn't been overly impressed so I really wanted her to sample the culinary delights available in Manchester. I began with a curried haddock kedgeree - it was top notch, as expected. Joanna had Surf and Turf (calamari). She was wowed by the starter but it didn't stop there. We both had sirloin steak for our mains (I am normally more adventurous but having had the steak before I knew I was in for a treat!) At this point, Joanna made a controversial comment:

"This is better than sex"...

Although we both knew this was an outlandish statement, and not entirely true, I had a mouth full of juicy, tender steak and felt inclined to agree. If sex were steak, it would be Room steak, medium rare with a side of oh-so-crispy chips. It didn't stop here either. After our completely empty plates had been cleared away I asked for a dessert menu. After finding out that, disappointingly, they no longer had the chocolate fondue on the menu, I settled for chocolate pudding. A small square of chocolate sponge arrived, complete with chocolate brownie, homemade fudge and a strawberry.
No words can desribe the pleasure my tastebuds felt as the last morsel of food went in. This was heaven. And at a very pleasing price too.

Now, I love my food, but I'll eat pretty much anything, good quality or otherwise. But Room, for me, is 10/10 everytime and I would recommend it to everyone I knew, if they weren't dirt poor students.

I'm very full now and very content so I'm going to climb into bed (10pm - how early?!?!) with my book and hopefully rise early enough in the morning to actually get some ruddy revision done.